What I miss…

What I miss about being in love with my best friend:

Before I jump right into this I want to first state that I will ALWAYS be in love with David. Always. I believe that is the most challenging part about moving on with another potential love. It is a lot to ask someone to accept that I never fell out of love with my first husband and that he will always “own” a part of my heart. It would take a very strong, confident, compassionate and loving guy to accept that. And let’s face it… at 32 – MOST (I pray not all) of those guys are happily settled down in a wonderful relationship.

So here I am. Alone.

And being alone can easily turn to misery for a girl like me. I have the BEST friends and family in the world. Truly remarkable! But I need more.

David and I were BEST friends who happened to be 110% compatible intimately. And this my friends was by far the GREATEST combination.

And I miss that…

So so much!

I miss never being self-conscious because I knew I had someone at home that loved me no matter what. I could have had bed head, no makeup on, dark circles under the eyes and cellulite and he LOVED me that way. He loved me all fancied up and cute and he also loved me all Kim Kardashian ugly cry faced (oh yeah – I have one of those U-G-L-Y cry faces). That kind of unconditional love and adoration is about the best feeling in the world to have. I am SO grateful to have had that for 13 fantastic years.

The idea of wearing uncomfortable, sexy underwear and reapplying makeup frequently makes me cringe. Don’t get me wrong – feeling good about my appearance is important to me now that I have time for such things. But being reliant on that is horrible. I don’t want someone to love me because my makeup is just perfect, my boobs perky and my love handles are gone. I want someone to admire me the way David did. To care more about what is on the inside of me rather than the outside and yet be proud of who I am both inside and out.

Seriously --- I realize beggars cannot be choosy and pickins’ are slim. Not to mention my “package” is far from perfect that I’m offering. It’s just that I have come from an immensely great relationship and settling for less than that isn’t an option. Not if I want to be wholly happy and available to offer myself completely as I did with David. There is just no room for self-consciousness. None whatsoever.

So in a nutshell --- my daily wearing of the thong underwear is LONG over with and I'd love for someone special to be just as comfortable with me as I am (or more so even such as the case was with Dave). Yeah – he was THAT great!

If I had to pick one thing I miss most about myself after losing David it would have to be confidence. He made me feel like a rock star. I was his trophy wife in granny panties and all. ;) I pray someday I feel that special again… (Sooner rather than later would be preferred) =D

So – what do you miss most about a better time of your life?

I’m hoping you cannot think of a single thing friend, but if you can --- I encourage you to do all you can to get back to that point. Have hope. I do.

Love ya’s,
-A-