Okay – so yesterday I promised I’d come off my nearly 2 year blog
hiatus.
Why in the hell didn’t I write it yesterday then when I was all “inspired”
and shit?!?
Here is the lowdown.
Rewind back a couple weeks ago. I read this story of a young girl
who wrote a story to her future self.
Unfortunately that future young lady wasn’t in the cards. She wouldn’t live to adulthood leaving her parents
to read and share her touching letter.
Somehow reading that story got my wheels turning thinking what my
childhood letter to myself would have been like reading it now in
adulthood. And in my twisted mind I then
composed a letter to my childhood preparing myself for what I was about to
endure in my late 20s to early 30s. It
was WAY longer than what is below but this is a great summary.
Dear Adolescent Amy,
You are about to become one lucky ass young women. When you are 18 you are going to meet and fall
in love almost instantaneously with this 6’3” handsome and yet insecure, wholehearted
loving, freckled covered ox of a man. He
represents every possible meaning of the word strong, both physical and mental and
sadly that quality you adore is going to come into very good use. You see he’s gonna get sick and despite both
of your unearthly efforts he will be defeated by this horrific ailment called sarcoma. He wins SO many battles with sarcoma but in
the end – 3.5 years later he loses the war. Cancer wins leaving you for the 1st
time in your entire life alone. You’ve
been blessed with the best family and friends but you are going to feel
alone. Don’t worry. You are good at it. You embrace memories and life and you carry
on. But with time that loneliness you
embraced for so long gets old and you want more. You are ready for more. And now it’s up to you to figure out.
Sincerely,
You
Fast forward to today (well yesterday). That figuring it out… I SUCK at it. I’ll be honest. Just ask the handful of guys I’ve dated. I am a HORRIBLE girlfriend. I am one of the best wife’s I know. I just SUCK at being a girlfriend. I have this mold in my head. My #2 looks, acts, thinks and talks “THIS”
way. Break that mold and I’m seacrest
OUT. And not in a let him down easy,
polite way. I just remove myself from the
situation. Stop calling, texting – just gone
like that awesome, catchy Montgomery Gentry song, GONE. (this one)
And I hate that about the “post Dave” me. I am inpatient and I DON’T waste valuable
time – mine, yours his, nobody’s but GONE with no explanation – that’s not
me. Not the me I strive to be
anyway. So what the fuck, Amy?!?
Then yesterday – I see this:
Bingo!
One of my all-time favorites.
Gone with the Wind.
Here most of Scarlett’s life she pines after the ballless (yeah I
said it) Ashley Wilkes when all that time the remarkably gorgeous Rhett Butler
from West BY God Virgina was madly in love with her! Rhett was ready and able to fulfil every one
of Miss Scarlett’s needs and she never noticed it. Well – not until it was too late. How sad is that. You see where I am going with this????
That mold I mentioned…
Maybe I need to reconsider that????
#TeamRhett #ILoveHashtags
So there you have it. Fresh
off my 2+ year hiatus.
I’ve blogged. And I am in no better place than I was 2+ years ago
but by God, I’ve got hope.
Peace Y’all. I’ll catch you
after my next inspiration.
-Amy-
